Written by rvler9201
Print this

Monday, 3 December 2012

image for Millions of football fans wondering if gun control is something to do with shotgun formations

KANSAS CITY, MO--Following Bob Costas' plea for gun control in the United States during the halftime segment of Sunday Night Football, sports fans around the country have been wondering if Costas remarks concerned shotgun formations in some way.

"At first I thought he meant 'gun control' like shutting down the passing game, or limiting the number of shotgun formations you take, but then I Googled it, and all this political crap came up," said Eagles fan Ryan Mullard. "If I wanted to listen to Bob Costas talk about the second commandment, or whatever it's called, I'd watch C-SPAN, alright?"

According to Google's Hot Searches feature, the top three searches following Costas' speech were "Gun control + completion percentage", "Gun control vs. the run game", and "Gun control Alabama/Notre Dame".

"When Costas was like 'gun control is a problem facing our country', I was like, 'Wait, I thought we all loved the passing game,'" Baltimore resident Ken Copenshill told reporters. "Then when he said, 'Gun control will prevent serious tragedies like this in the future,' I thought he was talking about the Eagles defense needing to step up in the third quarter. It was all very confusing."

Costas' comments have prompted some backlash in the sporting world, with many wondering if it is a sports commentator's place to address stratagems and proposed rule changes.

"I think Costas was way out of line with what he said," claimed Cowboys fan Steve Wellmer. "It isn't his business to tell the league what it can and cannot do on the field. He should apologize."

New York resident and lifelong Giants fan James Olson disagreed, telling reporters, "If Bob Costas feels that the culture of the passing game is a danger, then he should stand up and say so. If it's a moral issue-which I and a lot of people think it is-then we all need to talk about it."

"I dunno, I think Costas was off his rocker as usual," commented Atlanta Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan. "I like to think I've heard a lot of football talk in my time, but I never heard of the phrase 'gun control.' I mean, is that like, maintaining composure in the pocket? Having good vision downfield? I really didn't get it."

Costas' remarks are the first known interjection of sports commentary and politics since Tony Kornheiser called for post-natal abortions of low-percentage free-throw shooters.

Make rvler9201's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 4?

2 16 18 4
52 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more