LAS VEGAS, Nevada (ABSNN Sports) - The World Boxing Council has the entire sporting world agog at the news that Caesar's Palace will host the very first WBC Championship fight between two unknown, and as yet, unnamed twins in their mother's womb! The 12-round bout is scheduled for Christmas Eve (or sooner should the mother go into labor prematurely).
Clive Danton, TheSpoof.com's premiere boxing commentator, will call the fight. Veteran boxing referee Mills Lane says he will "endeavor to keep the fighters honest."
"They haven't worked out the specifics of how to get the 5' 10 1/2" tall Lane into the mother's womb as yet," said Danton. "But it is sure to be an outstanding example of the 'Sweet Science' as ever was seen before. I'm beside meself with anticipation."
Dr. Rand Paul, the noted optometrist and Jr. Senator from Kentucky, is in charge of all of the medical details and will be ringside, err, wombside, or however the hell they intend to do it.
"If one or both of the twins is cut due to a head-butt or intentional foul, I will be immediately inserted into the mother's thingy to assess whether or not the fight can continue," said Dr. Paul.
"One thing is for damned sure," said referee Mills Lane; "This will be the smallest ring in boxing history. There will be no place to run to and nowhere to hide."
We will keep you informed.