Written by Ossurworld
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Thursday, 29 November 2012

Boston Celtics attack dog and sometime point guard pipsqueak Rajon Rondo decided to fight Kris Humphries of the Brooklyn Nets, like a deranged Chihuahua taking on a feisty Afghan hound.

We once saw a toy French Poodle go beserk when he saw a Clydesdale horse. He wanted to rip that beast down to size.

As the old Frank Sinatra song once told, there was an ant that wanted to move a rubber tree plant because he had high hopes.

"Everyone knows an ant can't move a rubber tree plant."

If Rondo seems like that song's silly ram trying to punch a hole in a dam and refusing to scram, you may want to sing about Celtic inspiration.

We are not sure if Rondo has apple pie in the sky hopes or just hates the apple cheeks of Kris Humphries.

To start this round robin, Kris Humphries roughed up the Celtics big man and legendary bulldog, Kevin Garnett, who may or may not have made an untoward comment to the former Mr. Kim Kardashian.

When Rondo bared his fangs-you guessed it: oops there goes another rubber tree plant. The fight went into the stands-where fans who paid big bucks to be near the action received their early Christmas wish. They were part of the assault.

We haven't seen Rondo this rabid since he had to be restrained with a muzzle trying to defend Kendrick Perkins.

Humphries for his part has not looked as bewildered by an attack since his ex-wife (Kris's marriage lasted longer than this fight) pushed him around for asking whether one of her associates was gay.

Though some compared the fray to a dogfight, it may have had more hissy fit qualities that are reminiscent of a cat fight. Fans were throwing cold beer on the culprits to separate them.

We would blame this contretemps on the full moon, but Rondo seldom turns into a werewolf with this kind of ferocity.

As for the game, the Celtics lost the 'W' by a "TKO' and a bent out of shape nose. Rondo's assist record ended with 37 games of double digit assists. He lost it by the hair on his chinny chin chin and by the skin of his teeth.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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