Written by Paul Blake
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Wednesday, 28 November 2012

image for Olympic "Blades" Sprinter to Race Kangaroo
"Ready, Set, Bounce!"

Sydney, Australia - Oscar Pistorius, the twenty-six-year-old South African sprinter, who ran in the London Olympics with "blades" instead of legs, has accepted a challenge to participate in a race that could give his bank account quite a bounce.

Pistorius had been invited to meet the Queen in London, right after the games, when a well-known Australian media and airline mogul seated next to him at the dinner, struck up a conversation. He had been intrigued by the controversy that Pistorius's carbon-fiber legs had stirred up, coming into the Summer Games. Many thought that the legs gave him an advantage over the regular-legged runners because of the spring action the fake legs gave him. Most believed however, that it was an amazing feat for the young athlete to overcome adversity and make it to the Olympics.

After another drink the question arose as to whether Pistorius could beat a kangaroo with blades that were similar to that of the great hopping beast.

"The guy wouldn't stop egging me on." Said Pistorius, who proved to the world that he could compete on the world stage in the London Games. "Eventually by the end of the dinner, I accepted his offer. Let's race, I said."

That set into motion the idea for the race, which will be a fifty-lap race around the stadium-track that was used in the Sydney 2000 Summer Games. Tickets to the event will be sold to the public and if Pistorius in victorious, he gets to keep the money earned from ticket sales.

"At first, I was like, who would pay to see a guy in fake legs race a kangaroo?" The I realized; its' Australia, that eighty thousand seat stadium will be standing room only."

If the stadium does sell out, that means quite a payday for Pistorius, who could stand to earn somewhere around one and a half million dollars.

Again the controversy has arisen, as to the fairness of Pistorius's fake kangaroo legs. Does a man with four-foot tall Kangaroo legs, that he has only been hopping on for a couple of months, actually have an advantage over a real Kangaroo that can reach speeds up to forty miles an hour?

"In a flat race I don't stand a hope in hell." Said Pistorius, warming up for the race by hopping up and down onto a barrel. "But you have to remember that we are talking about a wild animal, in a stadium full of really drunk people, screaming in its face. He could easily start going backwards or jump into the stands and get in a fight. Anything could happen. I just have to concentrate on my own race, hop by hop... and not worry about the 'roo."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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