Written by Joe Leff
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Monday, 26 November 2012

Topia's premier pentathlon performer is desperately seeking a new couch.

After taking part in the last 10 Olympic Games, veteran pentathlete Adi Nuff has been feeling 'absolutely knackered'. "All I want is a good lounge about, watching telly all day," he moaned. "Trouble is, my old couch is past its best - and I can't get comfortable on it."

Nuff is putting several adverts in shop windows and local newspapers for "a really good couch."

Seb Coe reckons a good couch takes some beating. "Team GB has recently got rid of several old couches - but we've got a brand new one on order from Chesterfield."

Apparently, there's a lot of competition to provide the top couches. "We can supply excellent couches to order," boasted the manager of Couches 'R' Us, Horace Etty.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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