Topia's premier pentathlon performer is desperately seeking a new couch.
After taking part in the last 10 Olympic Games, veteran pentathlete Adi Nuff has been feeling 'absolutely knackered'. "All I want is a good lounge about, watching telly all day," he moaned. "Trouble is, my old couch is past its best - and I can't get comfortable on it."
Nuff is putting several adverts in shop windows and local newspapers for "a really good couch."
Seb Coe reckons a good couch takes some beating. "Team GB has recently got rid of several old couches - but we've got a brand new one on order from Chesterfield."
Apparently, there's a lot of competition to provide the top couches. "We can supply excellent couches to order," boasted the manager of Couches 'R' Us, Horace Etty.