Written by Ossurworld
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Topics: Ndamukong Suh

Friday, 23 November 2012

King Kong Suh is up to his old tricks again.

On Thanksgiving live national television, the Detroit Lions' defensive tackle put his foot squarely into the scrotum of Houston Texan QB Matt Schaub.

The act was more offensive than defensive, but Ndamukong Suh is no stranger to high-stepping into trouble.

If we were watching wrestling or MMA, we might have a good laugh. Alas, this is football where men do not kick other men in their private parts.

Suh was going down on a tackle and may have noticed the proximity of his foot and the groin of Mr. Schaub. It was small potatoes to insert foot into pivotal area where protection is usually confined to anti-itch powder.

Suh shows propinquity to reaching the Promised Land of knocking out the opposing quarterback. One good kick may solve the game conundrum and leave using a condom too painful to contemplate.

After the game Schaub referred to his opponent as "that person," and national commentators described Suh as anything but sweet Suh.

Subway, the food chain that seems to be angling for the bottom feeder market, continues to employ Mr. Suh to stress the healthy lifestyle of avoiding fatty meat.

Suh may be marketing a new approach to rejecting salami, sausage, and assorted nuts. Of course, in his defense, Suh may merely be showing how well he can raise his leg as part of his audition tape as a Radio City Hall Rockette in the Christmas pageant.

As punishment for his latest infraction, Detroit fans as proposing Suh receive twenty lashes with a wet noodle.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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