Rafa Benitez was appointed interim Chelsea manager today following the dramatic sacking of Roberto De Matteo, who in six months as manager had won the FA Cup and Champions League double, but was replaced after a poor run which saw defeats to Manchester United, West Bromich Albion and Juventus.
Benitez talked himself into the job after a meeting with Chelski's Russian owner Roman Abramovitch, during which he produced a tosser, sorry dossier, containing facts and figures on all of the Chelsea squad.
A club insider said "When managing Liverpool, Rafa produced the old 'dossier' trick at press conferences and guaranteed that he would guide Liverpool to the top four and into the Champions League. Of course, the scousers finished seventh and he was sacked - never to be seen in English football again - or so we thought - until today!"
Disgruntled fans of the blues vented their feelings on twitter "The fat Spaniard has only been appointed in the hope he can get the useless Spaniard upfront to start scoring again"
Another said "Its all very well guaranteeing Liverpool top 4 and not delivering, if you promise the Russians something and don't deliver, your likely to end up concrete under a bridge in Moscow"
Benitez has been given until the end of the season, or until Pep Guardiola decides he has had enough sabbatical, whichever is sooner.