Written by Collins_and_Dutton
Print this

Saturday, 17 November 2012

Legendary ex Bradford City Footballer Chris Kamara today speaks out about the hell his life has become since becoming targeted by an hysterical late middle aged man from the Mediterranean.

"I don't know where he came from" said Chris "but he appears from nowhere shouting and screaming at me, insisting that I make bets on various sporting events. He is absolutely relentless, I am now suffering with a severe gambling addiction and every time I try to break the cycle he pops up and abuses me both physically and mentally until I crack and place another bet".

Chris told us of one particularly humiliating moment when his stalker actually attacked him as he stepped out of the shower, smashing him over the head with a mobile, whipping his towel away whilst screaming "bet now, bet now".

"I am at the end of my tether and just want the nightmare to end but no one seems to be taking me seriously. I even set up CCTV in my house and have captured the abuse on camera, unfortunately it is just being played on TV as if its some kind of joke.

I am terrified that unless it is stopped soon he is going to start forcing other things on me and on top of the gambling problems I am going to be forced into crack addiction or something".

Chris walked off muttering "it's unbelievable Jeff, which showed the fractured state of Chris's mind as no-one of that name was present.

Make Collins_and_Dutton's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 3?

3 25 7 6
112 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more