Written by Ossurworld
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Saturday, 17 November 2012

If it seems like the Boston Red Sox are asleep at the switch, you may be right.

This week alone, the Red Sox ignored the sound of a tree falling in the woods. The Miami Marlins traded all the pitching and shortstops the Sox could have used to their next door divisional rival, the Toronto Blue Jays.

Then came word that the Blue Jays had swooped down and scooped up Melky Cabrera. The Sox, desperately in need of an outfielder or two, were left holding the bag with egg on their face.

Of course, diehard fans will point out the Sox robbed the Blue Jays of their manager not a few weeks ago. Others may note that the loss of Mike Aviles was not exactly an even bet.

So the Red Sox continue to hibernate in the winter of their discontent. They live in a parallel universe to the rest of the league. In the Sox galaxy, being last means they are first in their Twilight Zone.

By the time the great explosion of molasses settles in Boston, the Sox may find there is no one left to sign for a song. Then, again, isn't that exactly the Boston strategy? Take no one anyone else wants.

It worked for the New England Patriots and Bill Belichick, but we are less confident about Ben Cherington.

Disheartened Sox fans may feel that the Blue Jays are running away with the hot stove league lead, but this may not be a good year for John Henry's 'Moneyball' approach to Sabermetrics. Just as Mike Trout.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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