Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 16 November 2012

image for The Behind-The-Scenes Story of The NASCAR Feud Between Jeff Gordon and Clint Bowyer
NASCAR's Gary Busey International Speedway located in Tarzana, California. (Photo by Vice-President Joe Biden).

ATLANTA - NASCAR vice-president of Oil Changes Clyde P. Duckmeister, was asked to comment on the recent unfortunate incident which occurred in Phoenix at the Phoenix International Raceway in which Jeff Gordon purposely drove his number 24 car into Clint Bowyer's number 15 car.

Duckmeister said that it was all just a simple misunderstanding.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: That's kind of interesting since Gordon was fined $100,000 by the NASCAR organization and placed on probation until December 31.]

At first Duckmeister tried to simply write it off by saying that it was just a case of redneck road rage.

An eyewitness to the altercation, identified as Elwood "Bubba" Siloshansky, 43, of Gila Bend, Arizona told Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine's Buck Yazoo that after the track incident he saw Gordon and his pit crew and Bowyer and his pit crew get into a free-for-all fracas that started when Gordon became jealous of the fact that Bowyer has a lot more advertisement patches on his racing suit than he does.

The 41-year-old Gordon yelled out at the top of his lungs calling him "Patches" Bowyer.

Clint responded by calling Gordon, "Granny" Gordon and saying that fellow NASCAR race car driver Danica Patrick has a deeper voice than he (Jeff) does.

Gordon then told him that not only does he drive like an old woman he even smells like one.

Bowyer, 33, asked him in what way. And Gordon replied by saying that he has that Martha White Self-Rising Corn Meal Mix smell about him.

"Your mama!" Bowyer yelled out.

"No, your mama, she's a whole hell of a lot fatter." Gordon hollered back.

Gordon then got on top of the shoulders of one of his pit crew members and leaped towards Bowyer who was standing next to Miss Phoenix International Raceway, the lovely, charming, and sexy-as-hell Bernadette "Wowie-Zowie" Fritzfracker, (38-24-36).

Miss Fritzfracker, 20, let out a yell as she fell against a Margarita making machine and landed smack dab on the lap of Bowyer pit crew member Bruce Bob "Captain Carburetor" Cullenpicken, 51, who was grinning from ear-to-ear.

Someone called 9-1-1 and Phoenix police quickly showed up and told everyone to break it up and stop acting like a bunch of overly enthusiastic Peruvian soccer fans.

In Other News. Mitt Romney told Ellen DeGeneres that he and his wife Ann are going to be taking a little trip down to Mexico to rest up from the grueling presidential campaign and to visit some of his 40 relatives.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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