Written by Ossurworld
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Topics: Boston Celtics

Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Duct tape saved Apollo 13 and now must save the 2013 Celtics.

Donnie Darko Milicic said his weak wrist not only has been weak for a week, but that he will use more tape to save himself for the season.

Little known to fans is that the Celtics rely on duck tape (as the experts call it) to hold their team together. In all likelihood, multi millionaire Celtic fan Mitt Romney advised Danny Ainge to invest in duct tape. It is part of Romney's plan to save the American economy.

Jarod Sullinger has bulging disks, but thanks to duct tape, he is ready to go in every game as a starter.

Even the non-starters like Chris Wilcox now have come to rely on the healing and medicinal qualities of the all-purpose tape.

Few people know that the famous duck boats in Boston are sealed for their trips into the Charles River with duck tape.

A wet duck never flies at night unless his feet are taped in duck tape, and now Rajon Rondo has applied the same theory to his own feet in those green sneaks.

All those banners are kept hanging on the rafters in TD Garden with ample supplies of duct tape.

Those delicate Celtic ankles will be reinforced this season at half0time with renewed rolls of duck tape.

Paul Pierce plans to use duct tape to shut Ray Allen's mouth during the games with the Miami Heat this season.

And, Jeff Green is looking into a tailor made box of fulvous yellow duct tape to match his sneakers rather than the usual gray ugly duckling tape.

Fans are prepared to make way for Duck Tape.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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