Written by Ossurworld
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Thursday, 25 October 2012

Rex Ryan's diet has left him with a hunger for victory. The Head Coach of the New York Jets has been microwaved to a crisp with another controversy.

This week he apologized for saying he wanted to put "hot sauce" on Reggie Bush, which led to the Jets' team injuring the Miami star during a game.

Apparently Tyrannosaurus Rex really meant to say that he wanted to put "chocolate sauce" on Reggie. We hesitate to create an image in Rex's head of Reggie Bush smothered in whipped cream with a cherry on top. The image is too graphic.

With Bush sweet enough for a Sundae game, Rex found himself carried away with fantasies of lining up at the dinner table. After his apology to Bush, Rex indicated to some observers that this is not the first time he had to eat crow's feet.

Frog legs may be next, and we are only grateful that Crazylegs Hirsh will not be coming back to face the Jets.

Henceforth, Rex Ryan may have to take smaller portions and dollops when he parses his words before speaking. If you stick a foot in your mouth too often, your appetite for cheating on the diet may increase.

No one ever accused Rex Ryan of having "a lean and hungry look," like Cassius in Shakespeare's play about carving up the big turkey.

Tyrannosaurus Rex has been on top of the food chain for so long that being a bottom feeder is not palatable to him or New York fans.

With trick or treat time around the corner, Rex may be ready to take off his nice guy costume and go for the jugular, pouring a little hot sauce on his next victim, one of those other big fish on the Dolphins.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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