Written by mikewadestr
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Thursday, 25 October 2012

image for Third Base Conspires to Give Giants Game One in World Series

Detroit fans are calling it a conspiracy, the US Secret Service is calling it a free trick, both presidential candidates claim that third base is a disgruntled New York Yankees fan and everyone else, really wants to know if Big Bird will be on next season's Dancing with the Stars.

The whole incident happened when San Francisco Giants hitter Angel Pagan hit a two out double off of the third base bag that would eventually lead to 3 Giant runs, a ball that normally would have been a routine out for Detroit third baseman Donny Crusade. Unfortunately for Crusade Pagan was no angel at all as he caused third base to bloat up and deflect the ball into left field, keeping the Giants inning alive and Crusade wondering about the actual intent of the angels in the afterlife.

"I knew I should have sacrificed that hammer to, Thor", Exclaimed an exasperated Crusade. "When you start messing with the afterlife, you have to cover yourself. Geez, I've converted to Islam, Buddhist, Christian Scientist and Dirty Dentist, but man I've never seen anything like this."

"That base just punched the ball out like Kim Kardashian with a bad butt implant"

Crusade wasn't the only one who noticed the bag's imperfection. Ex FBI operative, Jenn Unscrupulous stated:

"There is more to this than meets the eye, and I'm talking about the eye that doesn't stare at my big natural apples. We have found that the bases have been secretly betting on the Giants and furthermore, have been taking steroids. We've analyzed Major League Baseball bases the last decade and have found that 100 percent of them are square".
"If that's not a red flag, then I don't know what is!"
Detroit Manager, Jerry Lost, exclaimed:

"I'm shocked that anyone actually lives in Detroit. I mean, man, it's not like the city has produced anything except thugs and murders and hard core pawn stores. Honestly the team and I don't even live in the city. We just fly in on helicopters on game day"

When pressed about the accusations, Giants manager Fred Fender stated:

"You have to consider where these accusations are coming from. A writer from the Goof who has had hip replacement surgery and is high on pain killers. He is probably upset because his cat beat the crap out of him".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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