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Tuesday, 23 October 2012

San Francisco, CA, Dougie's Gazette - In last night's Presidential 3rd Round Debate on Foreign Policy, President Obama successfully defended his title of Commander-in-Chief, which will again be contested on November 6.

Unofficially, Democrats and Undecided voters scored the bout as 96-93 and 96-93 respectively for Obama; while the Republicans had it 96-93 for Romney; making the overall record for the debates, both Presidential and Vice Presidential: Obama/Biden 3 wins, 1 Loss by TKO; Romney/Ryan 1 win, 3 Losses by split decision.

One ringside commentator reported that, "This fight was a obviously a mismatch from the start, between an aggressive and experienced foreign policy heavyweight, Obama, and a less experienced foreign policy middleweight, Romney. Obama was clearly the aggressor, using the ring to his advantage and winning most foreign policy points. Although Romney went the distance, he failed to show an effective offensive strategy, and although employing a clever clench and cover-up tactic to defend himself, he was unable to counter an effective flurry of Obama's combinations of jabs, hooks and uppercuts that repeatedly landed to the political head and body of his opponent. Romney did however, manage to score a few points when throwing and landing several wild and looping punches at Obama's weaker economic side.

An Independent promoter at the bout also reported that, "Obama's foreign policy offense was helped by having more experienced and capable people in his corner, i.e., Joe 'the Pit Bull' Biden and the tag team of "Bill and Hillary Clinton"; whereas Romney's corner man, the young foreign policy lightweight, "Paul 'the Fitness Guru' Ryan," lacks the experience and qualifications necessary to back-up Romney if he should ultimately win the C in C title, or to take it on himself if it were to be vacated by Romney due to some injury or unforeseen event."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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