Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 17 October 2012

image for The Yankees Organization To Tell Slumping A-Rod To Dump His Girlfriend
The Yankees organization says A-Rod needs to break up with his girlfriend to show the Yankee fans he cares about winning.

NEW YORK CITY - Word out of the New York Yankees organization is that the powers that be are not at all happy with Alex Rodriguez.

A spokesperson for the team, Menachem Goldenwitz, told Sports Balls Illustrated Daily that the super star is not playing like a super star as evidenced by his meager postseason performance of 3 for 23, including 12 strikeouts.

Goldenwitz stated that A-Rod is one of the highest paid players in all of sports making $30 million a year.

When asked what the team plans on doing about the star's slumping situation, Mr. Goldenwitz replied that the Yankees ownership has decided to make a Tony Romo - Jessica Simpson type decision and they will ask Mr. Rodriguez to dump his astoundingly erotic girlfriend Torrie Wilson.

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones had to resort to that decision after Jessica Simpson became a team jinx. He called Tony (Romo) into his office and told him that either he ends his relationship with Simpson or else he will find himself playing football for some semi-pro team down in the mosquito-infested jungles of Central America.

Romo, said his mama did not raise no fool and so he dumped Jessica the night before her 29th birthday.

Goldenwitz explained that A-Rod has to consider the team and he has to focus on the Detroit Tigers. He went on to say that breaking up with Miss Wilson is not only the right thing to do for the team but it is the right thing to do for the tremendously devoted Yankee pinstripe fans.

The Yankee spokesperson added that the team will also not put up with the super star openly flirting during games with sexy female hot dog vendors, beautiful Cracker Jack girls, or gorgeously big bosomed beer babes.

In A Related Story. A-Rod has been told that once the season ends then he will be free to get back together with the stunningly voluptuous Miss Wilson and resume his happy-as-hell relationship.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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