Written by Ossurworld
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Wednesday, 17 October 2012

If you thought Rex Ryan was losing weight, here is the real skinny on the Jets coach. He has fallen off the wagon. Tim Tebow and Mark Sanchez have pushed the dessert cart right up to Rex's office door.

It's chow down time with another patented Patriot-Jets game coming up on the menu. It's a recipe for disaster for the loser.

The tall thin man in Jets green has been talking up the dinner menu for Sunday's game at Gillette Stadium, and he has cooked up a five-course meal to serve to the Patriots.

Ryan has ordered that Mark Sanchez throw up all those cream puffs against the New England team. If Russell Wilson can play busboy against a Bill Belichick team, then the Jets can serve up rubber chickens to the Pats.

If Rex looks emaciated, it could be that he has not been feasting on two chickens in a pot every Sunday.

A strict diet of eating crow can do that to an NFL coach.

We have noticed that Bill Belichick has dropped a few pounds in recent weeks. The notorious gray hoodie looks like it is hanging on the head of the Grim Reaper.

Rex has ordered that his quarterbacks turn on the microwave and serve up some vichyssoise to the burnt Patriot secondary. On Sunday the team ought to put a bib on Devin McCourty. There's no crying over spilt milk, but there is no meat in this soupcon.

If you like your fast food served up by Tom Brady, then the Sunday dinner bell is already ringing. Look for no huddle offense to deliver those extra-large fries. It will be enough to curb Rex Ryan's appetite for bluster.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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