Written by Ossurworld
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Monday, 15 October 2012

That noise was not a windy gust, but the gusty wind of the fans in Seattle. Combined with a light drizzle that fell with more soak than you get in a Nor'easter, Tom Brady was drenched in bad throws.

We thought Mt. St. Helens was blowing its top, but it was only the oddball fans of the Seattle Seahawks celebrating.

Two interceptions, intentional groundings, and bouncing balls to his receivers made Brady's game a high-wire act that thrilled the home crowd and made Patriot fans seasick.

Brady exceeded his all-time high of passes, which certainly made the vaunted balanced offense look lopsided as it listed like the Luisitania in its death throes.

The peanut rookie quarterback of the Seahawks, Russell Wilson, was running like Tim Tebow, and the Patriots looked like little chickens with the sky falling. The QB was running like a rookie trying to get to his Subway sandwich. No wait, that's the other rookie QB, RGIII.

Pete Carroll was dropping more F-bombs than a loser, but looked completely insane on the sidelines, acting like a teenager winning the contest as prom queen.

Brady could not match the running of Wilson, but Brandon Lloyd started looking like Chad Ochocinco with nearly every ball falling out of his fingertips. He was also so agile, but caught one when it counted, too little, too late.

The Pats' secondary came off second best again.

If the Patriots were to stay overnight in Seattle, they'd surely be sleepless. However, the sleepless flight back to New England will provide enough time in a claustrophobic setting to point fingers and find recriminations everywhere.

The ball was slip sliding away more often than a Paul Simon song, and a decade ago Tom Brady might have marched down the field to win the game. With raindrops falling on his head, New England fans had to face the St. Vitus victory dance of Pete Carroll.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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