Man United arrived in Romania today and were rapidly transported off to their hotel before dark. Several players had cloves of garlic hanging around their necks to ward off any vampires that could have been hiding on the mens bogs at the airport.
The players then rapidly boarded the coach and their kit-man was seen loading a large silver box into the luggage compartment. After arrival at the hotel a press conference was given and Sir Alex Ferguson divulged what was in the box and here his answer:
"The silver box is loaded with a set of ancient duelling pistols loaded with silver bullets just in case the players get attacked by swarms of vampire bats during the game. Wayne Rooney was particularly worried because he's just paid £10.000,00 Grand for his new hair transplantation and he don't want vampire bats ripping his hair out! Mike Phelan and myself will be patrolling the trainers area all through the game and if we see those bastard bats; they're dead!"
"The Wooden stakes are for after the game because we heard Count Dracula is a CFR Cluj fan and if we win he has promised bloody retribution. So all of players have wooden stakes in their hotel rooms with Hammers (not the film version) and if The Count attacks, they can do a Peter Cushing!"
"As far as the first half goes the boys will be given pigs blood before the kick-off and that'll get em going, we don't want a repeat of Saturday Laddie!"