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Sunday, 30 September 2012

image for Boston Celtics Shut Off Phone Service to Ray Allen

When it comes to speed dials and cell phones, the tin can with string will do just fine for Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen.

Once the reason Garnett came to Boston to play with the Celtics, Ray Allen jumped ship and swam to Miami over the off-season.

Now on opposite sides of the court, they have rescinded communication. Garnett gave a media day press conference in which he expressed no desire to speak with his close friend. They have not had words. They have not said anything since Allen took his speed dialing to South Beach.

In an ancillary commentary, Allen professed surprise that KG expressed such feelings, as Ray thinks he is a good person to talk to on the phone.

Complicating the cold shoulders and dropped calls stands the Celtics point guard Rajon Rondo, once thought to be responsible for Allen's decision to move on to another area code.

Allen cited an annual trading rumor as his primary reason for changing his smartphone number and blocking calls from Danny Ainge, Celtics GM.

As if to rub salt into the iPhone, Rondo said that his best friend on the Celtics is Kevin Garnett. They have so much in common-apparently like not talking to Ray Allen.

With contact lists now cleared for the foreseeable season, we expect all tweets to be one-way. Neither KG, nor Allen, tweets, having found it less than a secure line.

Ray Allen has exceeded his minutes already as far as the Celtics are concerned.

If you want an incorrigible tweet this season, your man is Rajon Rondo.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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