CHICAGO - After three weeks of fans having to listen to team owners, coaches, players, cheerleaders, and even hot dog vendors whine like a bunch of day care kiddoes about the replacement referees, the 'real' zebras are returning to the gridiron.
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has informed the replacement referees via text messages that they are now free to return to their junior college, high school, and Pop Warner refereeing gigs.
He has asked the replacement refs to please turn in their uniforms and caps at the designated drop off boxes located at each NFL football stadium.
The commissioner did state that they can keep the referee whistle as a keepsake souvenir.
According to Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily, the new referees contract, which should be ratified quickly, calls for a nice pay raise, increased dental benefits, and provides for much nicer, stylish referee uniforms, better head sets and microphones, and their very own stadium locker.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Previously the refs had to share a locker with one of the stadium janitors.]