Written by Backandtotheleft
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Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Roberto Mancini has ordered rival managers to stop talking about the amount of money he is spending.

"I will not have these baseless accusations thrown at me and my club. We are spending well within our means...."

Yeah, if you were a small oil rich country.

"All clubs spend large amounts of money to guarantee success...."

I suppose not everyone is as talented as David Moyes when it comes to putting out a team signed for a combined total of £36.45 and a waffle maker.

"I will always try and sign the best players for Manchester City...."

And then stick them on the bench and let their careers stagnate, step forward Adam Johnson.

"If any manager has a problem with the way we conduct our business then we can always just bung him a tenner."

Roberto then blew his nose on the Mona Lisa (which his club had just purchased, along with several other high profile works of art. They are to be shredded for Balotelli to play in) and looked rather non plussed at the assembled press.

"Look. All I want to do is win the Champions League. If I have to buy every player this on this side of the globe to do it then I will."

Watch out Europe.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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