Written by CaptainSausage

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Topics: Boxing, innuendo, Fisting

Friday, 14 September 2012

image for Pigeonweight boxers line up for title fight
Boxing - it's for gays really

Two giants of the boxing world will face off tonight in a prize contest at Dorking's Cheesy Puffs Arena.

Pugilism has always been a gentleman's sport and they don't come more gentle than Bill 'Bonecrusher' O'Dibelt. The Irishman who was once pardoned by the Pope for GBH has re-entered the sport following his four year ban.

In the other corner, the Dane Bjorn 'The Fist' Uckell. Raised by wolves in the forests of Schleswig-Holstein, he learned to box as a child when he had to punch his food to death in order to eat. He only began wearing boxing gloves last year, leaving the world of bare-knuckle fighting behind him for good.

It is sure to be a passionate encounter. O'Dibelt has already said he has been dying to "pound his opponent in the ring".

In their only previous encounter, Uckell narrowly won after giving the Irishman a good many punches to the face. "I really pummelled his cheeks," he recalls. "I hope to give him a good fisting tonight too."

Continuing the trash talking, O'Dibelt said that he "had his gum shield in place and was ready to give the Dane a knockout blow."

Uckell replied that he doubted O'Dibelt would "enter the second round whole".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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