Written by Jaggedone
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Wednesday, 12 September 2012

image for Die hard Man Utd fans attempt to commit suicide at news of Van Persie's injury!
Good job Balotelli had enough of this on the back seat of his Ferrari; it could have been a red Mancunian bloodbath!

Robin Van Persie was injured last night playing for Holland and as the news slowly reached the Mancunian regions (Red light District not blue movie area) several hundred United fans were seen heading for the local, fog ridden (that was written by Agatha Christie just to enhance the atmosphere), railway bridge!

A Manchester Evening News reporter rushed to the scene to find out what the hell they were up to and luckily, just before they were about to jump, he managed to interview a few - here's their comments:

"Without RVP we are dead, me too!"

"RVP is the new Mon Dieu and Toulouse (clever that one, not not so Cleverley) him now is a disaster so I'm leaving the world I just can't take Chicharito again!"

"It's a Man City conspiracy and that damn Arab is to blame, just like he bunged QPR players to lay down in the last minutes, remember? I'm jumping too!"

Luckily, Italian angel, Mario Balotelli, heard of hundreds of Man Utd fans rushing towards the foggy railway bridge. He sped to the scene in his 2 million buck, gold plated Ferrari and just as the first United nutter was about to jump, he threw thousands of pounds in the air, what a charitable chap old Mario is!

The last we heard the suicidal United fans were busily getting pissed on Balotelli's money and this just goes to show that football is not just about the money; Bella Balotelli!

Make Jaggedone's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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