Written by Ossurworld
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Topics: Tom Brady, GRONK

Monday, 10 September 2012

Though many fans figure the Patriots will win every game they play this 2012 season, there are spots that require close examination.

Of course, the first is that Tom Brady was knocked down and given a bloody nose. In all of days of watching the New England superstar, we cannot recall him suffering this indignity.

One of the Titans found a way to inject his knee into Brady's helmet. Brady told reporters that he did not mind a little blood and had no idea if his nose broke in the scuffle.

Blame must be assigned, and the first culprits are the protective line around TB 12 that made him scramble for his dear life and future of his children.

Second-degree blame must go to ownership that declined to pay Brian Waters enough money to offer his services as a bodyguard for Tom.

Various sources claim the amount that the Patriots refused to pay Waters was miniscule in conjunction with the fate of the franchise. So it goes. We wonder how many fans will have rosary beads at Gillette Stadium to pray for Tom.

The other noteworthy news centered on the ever-effervescent Gronk.

We have seen his face plastered on posters at every coffee shop in the vicinity. He seems intent of selling breakfast muffins with egg.

Indeed, we watched his commercial in which he has spiked a ball with every bite of his muffin, indoors no less.

So, with some amazement, we watched Gronk score another touchdown, but as he went to spike his endzone success with inches to go out of bounds, the ball slipped behind him.

Gronk looked at his empty hands. If he were at home, the crowd would have been in a raspberry mood. This is the first misspike of his career, tantamount to a wild pitch or tossing up a brick.

Despite these augurs of a new season, the New England team marched handily out of Nashville with a victory, making the Titans fans men in black with no Johnny Cash in sight.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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