Written by Ossurworld
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Topics: Bill Belichick

Thursday, 6 September 2012

If Bill Belichick believes in any philosophy, it must be surrealism.

Unlike Bobby Valentine who lives a surreal professional life in the Red Sox dugout, Bill keeps his humor in tact by driving writers and media people into fits of madness.

When he looked at Kafka and gave a thought to a metamorphosis on his team QB situation, he then signed a tight end to spell Gronkowski and Hernandez during dull moments of the game.

Michael Hoomananwanui joins the roster to challenge the usually brain dead TV commentators who must stumble over the name repeatedly. Forget the crawl spelling his name; the pleasure Belichick receives is from watching the talk show sports hosts give up after the fourth syllable.

In a world where the sports "insiders" are fairly monosyllabic in their analysis, Belichick has thrown a polysyllabic curve ball.

As an expert of Wheel of Fortune, Belichick now knows the media will go broke buying a vowel.

This is the answer to Nenad Krstic, a name that will live in Boston sports infamy. How could Belichick allow a Celtics team to overshadow his roster?

For those who consistently miss the dry wit and deadpan delivery of the Patriot coach, we have yet another example of his humor.

We can picture him watching the NESN and Comcast sports shows, enjoying the discomfiture and ineptitude of announcers and talk hosts. It's the media equivalent of stripping the ball out of their hands and causing a fumble.

Hoomanawanui is the sound of Belichick laughing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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