Written by Backandtotheleft
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Monday, 3 September 2012

The transfer window has slammed shut trapping the fingers of many managers who weren't able to offload the tripe they had signed in previous windows. There was a flurry of activity in the last few moments of the window as Arsenal tried desperately to sell their best players to their immediate rivals. But despite dropping their asking price for Walcott down to £4:50 and a Mars bar Liverpool still wouldn't sign him. Arsene Wenger said:

"I believe, in keeping with our previous transfer policies we have only spent within our means. I believe, we have always sold our best players for rock bottom prices two minutes before the season starts. This year Alex Song was about to start against Sunderland but I sold him to Barcelona just before kick-off. I believe by maintaining a belief in the young players we have at this club we can create a dynasty. I believe."

Arsenal fans will be glad to hear that despite selling their top scorer and chief assist maker, Arsene doesn't think they will struggle for goals:

"I believe the players I have will strengthen and help us push on to challenge for...."

His phone began ringing and after a few moments of intense conversation in French he said.

"Sold!" He put the phone down pulled out a calculator and we had to inquire what it was he had just sold.

"The team bus! I believe it is fundamental for players to walk to away games. Once we get our players back from injury...."

At this point Back and to the Left news left the room because we'd heard it all before.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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