Written by Ossurworld
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Saturday, 25 August 2012

In a dystopian league's future, the totalitarian Red Sox Nation is divided between manager, front office and 25 factions among the team.

Each year the highest paid player must demand to meet with the ownership to demand the firing of the current manager. The elected victim must tweet King John Henry VIII and pray his head will not be chopped off.

Part entertainment, part brutal retribution for a past victories, the televised games are broadcast throughout Red Sox Nation.

The 25 participants are forced to eliminate their manager while the citizens of Red Sox Nation are required to watch.

When overpaid first baseman Adrian Gonzalez is selected as this year's sacrificial lamb representative, Kelly Shoppach volunteers to take his place and is promptly traded to the Mets for a bucket of chicken wings.

Problem pitchers Josh Beckett, John Lackey, and Jon Lester find themselves pitted against bigger, stronger usurpers to the starting rotation, some of whom have trained for this their whole lives.

The Texas Ranger contingent of the Red Sox then go into Red Sox Dawn mode (another movie tale about independent players who take on a monolithic ownership). They will pick off any manager ownership hires.

Though Adrian Gonzalez tweets the owners, his heart is not in it-and he wishes Dustin Pedroia and David Ortiz who have been training for this event for years had stepped up to the plate.

To avoid the lottery and being chosen to attend a mutineers' meeting, some players are opting for Tommy John surgery and others are creating fake websites.

The entire mess will likely mean a sequel next season.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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