Written by Ossurworld
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Thursday, 23 August 2012

After the notorious "Summer of Gronk," a time when daily reports dominated the media on the antics of Rob Gronkowski, tight end and tweeter emeritus, we have lost all sight of the big New England Patriot superstar.

Hitting home runs in a derby, posing naked with a giant lollipop, and golfing in Zubaz shorts, all became the norm.

However, in Foxboro a dedicated scientist of football was preparing an elixir that would in small measure erase the public spectacle that Gronk had become.

Bill Belichick must have worked night and day to find the colorless and odorless solution. Whether he made Gronk drink it, like a cup of hemlock, or gave it to him intravenously, we can only speculate.

We have visions of James Bond fastened to a table while Goldfinger started the laser beam treatments. We pray that Belichick was gentle.

The end result was the amazing fact that Gronk completely disappeared. NORAD could not track him, though they are able to keep annual tabs on Santa Claus.

Gronk was undetectable as chlorine in water.

Those who wanted to see the 21st century Babe Ruth were treated instead to Claude Rains as The Invisible Man. You never saw a trace of him until the final reel. Bill Belichick did one better than H.G. Wells.

Oh, those flashes of a big guy wearing #87 may have been Gronk-but he didn't even appear on the field during the game on Monday.

Promises have been elicited from Patriots scientists that an antidote may be given to Gronk before the game, making him visible to fans watching on television.

Those in the stands may still see only a blur and hear not a sound.

If Gronk simply falls out of sight for the entire season, we know that science has gone too far.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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