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Wednesday, 22 August 2012

image for Rob Green hails five star performance from QPR
No Gold for Green as he goes in goal.

New QPR goalkeeper hailed a five star performance from Queens Park Rangers on the opening day of the Premier League season, as he picked the ball out of the net five times in a home reverse to Swansea.

Green refused to be downbeat at his new teams 5-0 home defeat to the high flying Swans - managed by Michael Laudrup. "Well, that's football innit me old mucker" Green told Sly Sports on sunday. "I checked the newspapers this morning and they gave me 5 stars! Superb. They only gave the new Batman film four stars".

Green then revealed that club are planning an appeal to the FA. "Apparently, someone told me Swansea are not even English! How comes they're allowed to play in the EPL? That would be like inviting Glasgow Rangers or Celtic in the English leagues!"

Green used to be a happy hammer - until one hot summer night in South Africa two years ago when he let a simple shot from Clint Dempsey through his hands to give the underrated Americans a 1-1 draw against the footballing giants of England. Things haver been going backwards for him ever since.

When told the 5 mark was out of a possible ten, Green put his hands over his ears and shouted "Can't hear you. Nur nur nur nur nur!"

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