Written by Talking Tic-Tacs
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Tuesday, 21 August 2012

image for South African Betrays England's South Africans by Texting South Africans
Just not cricket. American cricket

South African Kevin Pietersen was today still ostracised from the England cricket team after revelations about him texting South African players.

Whilst playing (bored in pavilion waiting for turn) for England against South Africa, South African Pietersen is said to have been texting fellow South Africans, playing for South Africa, about South African players playing for England.

England cricket captain and native South African Andrew Strauss has gone on record saying there are issues of trust to be resolved in the England cricket set up.

While England cricket coach Andy Flower, who is from South Africa, has backed his South African England captain.

Pietersen, from South Africa, is believed to have referred to South African Strauss as a 'doos', a derogatory South African term.

To find out the exact meaning of the phrase we waited outside England's cricket team training to randomly ask the England cricketer, and incidentally South African, Jonathan Trott. "It's a reference to the lady garden" he said, "and I don't have the slightest inclination as to why issues of mistrust, disloyalty, lack of heart and desire should crop up in the England cricket team when playing South Africa."

Indeed it remains a mystery among ECB officials as to why superstar egos have clashed within a tangled web of multi hybrid nationalism that exists in England's dressing room. Against South Africa.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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