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Sunday, 19 August 2012

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King Brenny's magical dossier disposed off in the River Mersey!!

Anfield, Merseyside: Deep within the 'bunker' mentality that makes Liverpool FC one of the legendary world Football Clubs, sits King Brenny. Before King Brenny, on his desk, lays a reportedly 600 page dossier that highlights the new dawn!

Let us glance over King Kenny's shoulders and stare at some of the glowing references in that dossier. Leafing through to page 13;

What is it with Liverpool? A top club with an enviable history, BUT now stumbling from crisis to crisis under various moronic managers with Dalglish being the most moronic of them all.

Liverpool FC can't buy the right players to take the club forward. The purchase of a poser donkey, the useless one with the pony-tail, revealed in all its glory the sheer incompetence at the heart of LFC.

It won't get any better either, Steveie Gerrard's on his last legs. Clear out required to start again, from the bottom up.

Leafing through to page 113;

Since Souness things have been extremely ropey, with lots of inefficient spending, but Benitez at least saw some considerable success.

Dalglish / Commolli's spending was certainly one of the worst sprees English football has ever seen. Need to try to get an unbalanced mish-mash of players to play technical football.

Leafing through to page 213;

Liverpool are not a very big club with not a very good team. Liverpool FC are mid-table at best, with a mediocre run-of-the-mill club. Liverpool weren't good enough and couldn't finish their dinner and were sleeping at the back when WBA broke against them. Deserved to lose 3-0 and were lucky not to lose by more!

Leafing through to page 223;

The seasons underway, blame their luck this week, blame the referee next week, blame the woodwork in two weeks time, three weeks time blame the weather. If all else fails, blame the beach balls.

Leafing through to page 313;

Liverpool's owners don't have a clue about "Soccer", like their last owners and both their managerial appointments have been clueless. The latest incumbent wants to play in the style of Swansea and Barcelona - with Skirtel, Kelly, Agger, Carragher, Adams and Carroll, that's real fantasy football. Brendan.

Leafing through to page 353;

King Brenny is not doing much for his own personal credibility. Even the Liverpool players must know that they are not a good team. Skrtel, Agger, Reina and Suarez would have got into Shankly's and Paisley's teams. The others would not.

Leafing through to page 453;

Liverpool FC got beat 3-0. Next weeks chip paper. Most LFC fans will agree, for now that the only people to blame is the team and the manager. Know one else. The Manager first then the team. Crap manager with over rated idiots as players.

Leafing through to page 513;

At least Liverpool FC are top of the table for red cards. All that work King Brenny has done compiling his 600 page dossier is paying off.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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