Written by Ossurworld
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Tuesday, 14 August 2012

Once again, Patriots coach Bill Belichick has fooled some of the press all of the time.

In a game of 'Where's Waldo?', the Boston media is lost.

Noting that a dozen or more Patriots have not been seen at New England's training camp, we once again have the answer.

During last season Belichick's preseason strategy was to create a secret Patriot training camp right under the noses of the Fourth Estate.

Some people ask if there is a secret UFO base on the dark side of the Moon, but a more pertinent question to New England Patriots fans is whether Bill Belichick has a secret training facility at Smithfield, Rhode Island.

Would Bill Belichick create a secret base for covert Patriot operations far away from Gillette Stadium? Might some of his key players who are absent from Foxboro be training from a secret playbook in a neighboring state?

Yes, fans, when you wonder where missing Patriot players are, the media tells you they are injured. However, no one can find them at the enormous Gillette Stadium facility, not in the trainers' room, not with the local medical constabulary.

Patriot players who are allegedly injured seem to fall into Belichick's Bermuda Triangle. Where could the base of operations be located?

Back some years, before the Patriots moved to their new and more publicized facility at Foxboro, the team used to hold practice at the lost fields around Bryant College (now University) in Smithfield, R.I.

Far be it for any local media to take a ride out to Smithfield because of the vast distances between Foxboro and Rhode Island, but there could be a secret base in the next state. We know Bill Belichick, and the Soviet Union had less security during the Cold War.

For those fans that have no sense of distance, the old Patriot stomping ground and the new Patriot training facility are approximately 16 miles apart.

We have no idea whether fans might find Brian Waters or unemployed players like Chad Johnson practicing his covert playbook for games down the road. We do think it is a good possibility that Bill Belichick would be surreptitious and keep the news from the newshounds of the Boston media.

Finding a 300-pound defensive football player on the 400-acre campus of Bryant University would be daunting, harder than finding a needle in a haystack.

Next time Patriots players are mysteriously listed as missing in action from practice, inquiring minds may well ask if there is a M*A*S*H* unit under the auspices of Bill Belichick in far off Smithfield, Rhode Island.

The spy who came in from the cold may well be one of Belichick's players.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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