Washington, DC-- President Obama has sent a letter of apology to dozens of world leaders. He wanted to apologise for the United States winning the most gold medals at the 2012 Olympics. The letter read in part:
...and I want to once again apologise for America's attempt to excel. We need to admit we don't deserve anything but contempt from other nations. Please forgive this arrogance once again...
The president also noted that gold medal Olympic winners have been ordered to surrender their trophies. Any winner who does not will be audited by the IRS.
"Going for the gold is greedy." said the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize winner.
The president then made a stop at the Chinese Embassy to pick up a donation for his campaign.
"Winning is losing, freedom is slavery, success is failure." he said as the left the whitehouse.