Written by Ossurworld
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Topics: Red Sox Nation

Sunday, 5 August 2012

In a season of many ugly disappointments, the Red Sox seem to have found a silver lining to the cumulus-bearing deluge clouds.

Rookie Pedro Ciriaco has emerged as the best candidate to be the 21st century Ty Cobb-or this year's Lu Clinton.

Ciriaco came out of nowhere to fill in the blanks on the Disabled List follies for the Red Sox. Suddenly he was playing like Lou Gehrig about to put Wally Pipp to bed.

Of course, on the Red Sox having a golden bat guarantees only that you will be on the "rest every fourth day" plan.

When manager Bobby Valentine (or is that lineup card coming down from the Mount on stone tablets?) decides to play him in the nine-hole, you wonder what game he is watching.

Ciriaco pinch-hit most recently an eighth inning home run to give the Sox an untenable lead against the worst team in the American League.

Slaphappy fans began to chant his name like he was Pedro Martinez.

It's a dark night at Fenway when the fans are cheering for no one in particular. It was, however, a delightful bookend to the boos that cascaded down on Josh Beckett when he recently left the game with bases loaded, owing to a back spasm (singular).

With popular support among the Fenway Faithful, it may be only a matter of weeks before Ciriaco is sent down to Pawtucket for seasoning by turkey dressing master Ben Cherington.

Of course, the other option is to put him on the DL and let him play in the Gulf League for a couple of weeks to make sure his confidence remains in the nine-hole.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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