Javanese Olympic javelin thrower, King Hula Bula Wonga the 40th, who is his countrie's sole representative at London 2012, has just blown it!
After intense preparation in his homeland, 2 years of extensive jungle training throwing spears at wide-eyed monkeys swinging high in eucalyptus trees and missing every time, he received a right royal wild-card from the IOC to go to London.
The big moment came as he stripped off his royal gown, run down the runway to launch his javelin, but then tripped over his home-made, Javanese slippers, sponsored by Nike, because he forgot to tie his laces made of banana leaf strips.
He then fell arse over heels, crossed the deadly white line and was disqualified by a bemused judge from outer Bengal. Then to add insult to injury; his javelin, made of finest Javanese bamboo, pierced his left foot and got stuck in the soft, astro-rubbery track, causing him to catapult higher than any UK female shot-putter could throw their balls (after intensive sex-testing that is).
He bravely bowed to the amazed crowd whilst receiving medical treatment and was later rewarded with a huge, golden loser medal to commemorate his superb, very entertaining performance by Seb Coe who is a royal wanker anyway!
More as we get live pictures from his heroic arrival at Java airport which was full of monkeys that survived the ordeal!!