Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 4 August 2012

image for Lamb to the slaughter as Murray faces Federer in Gold Medal showdown
Men with balls: Federer to wipe the smile off Murray's Gold aspirations

London - A repeat performance of this year's Wimbledon Men's Finals pitches the desperate Scots wannabe against the ball-crushing maestro of Grand Slam supremacy.

"Yeah, he'll get his ass kicked in two straight sets," Rafael Nadal's tarot card reader tweeted this morning, "just seen the 'Hanged Man' and 'Fool' cards dangling all over the match.

"Should crush the little upstart 6-4 6-4."

Sunday's Centre Court showdown over a maximum of three sets has UK tennis pundits salivating like hell over the fantasy of a Murray Olympic Gold Medal win.

But at 3/1 ON Switzerland's tennis grand master is the bookies' firm favorite to wipe the smile off the Scots challenger's face.

So prepare yourselves for a right old Murray sadass ending with his dog portraitist girlfriend Kim Sears weeping heartfelt buckets before Sunday's cameras.

Some reckon her soft spot for a yappy also-ran mutt hexes the player's gargantuan aspirations.

Bjorn Borg is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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