Written by Robin Berger
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Friday, 3 August 2012

LONDON -- Olympic gymnast Gabby Douglas has been stripped of her gold medal at the 2012 Olympic Games for "not using one's black affiliation to win a match."

"Upon further review of the video footage," official Suchet Zwambi said, "we determined that Ms. Douglas sported an unkempt pony tail similar to those of her non-black teammates. Ms. Douglas, being a young woman of colorful heritage, should have sported a traditional African American hair style with traditional hair gels suitable for contestants of her ethnic persuasion."

Adding insult to injury, Zwambi added, "Ms. Douglas failed to render a 'black power' fist salute during the playing of her country's national anthem."

Standing backstage just moments after receiving the gold medal, Douglas tearfully handed it to runner-up Victoria Komova of Russia, who in turn presented her silver medal to Aliya Mustafina, also of Russia.

Twitter user "Mia" was ecstatic to hear Douglas lost her gold medal. "Ok Gabby.... u representing all little black girls of America with THAT ponytail??? Cmon, where her mama at?" Twitter user "Alexandria" expressed her dismay at the gold medal, saying "douglas is absolutely amazing. but this ponytail. no." Twitter user "Xan" wasn't as happy at the judges' decision but felt it was right, saying "Gabby baby.. this ponytail. Why?"

Twitter user "Jayms" had gone so far as to predict Douglas would be disqualified if she competed without changing her hair style. "I thought somebody would've told her about that" before the competition started, he explained.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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