LONDON - Michael Phelps of the United States endured 15 to 20 minutes of pronounced anxiety on Tuesday when the Olympic Scoring Committee credited his Gold Medal performance in the 100 Meter Crap-style Deathstroke to the fictional world of Narnia.
"I've trained for years and years in the United States," Phelps insisted in his first press interview since the controversy. "To my knowledge, I've never claimed on any of my papers to be a legal resident of Narnia. I'm not even sure I could find it on a map. So far as I recall, I've never even been there."
He shrugged off pressure from the Scoring Committee to clarify his residency, claiming that the judges were either mistaken or flat-out confused. He stopped short of suggesting that he's heard rumors of some Olympic judges heavily 'doping' before committing their scores to paper and the electronic queue.