Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: London 2012

Tuesday, 31 July 2012

image for Olympic Games 2012 Controversy As Fencing Competition Thrown Out For Being Shite
The crowd roar with boredom.

There was more controversy at the London 2012 Olympic Games last night when, following an earlier controversy over the result of a Women's semi-final joust between a South Korean fencer and a German fencer, the Fencing event was shelved, because it is shite.

The ExCel Arena was the venue for the latest fracas involving South Korea's Shin A Lam and the German Britta Heidemann. Shin looked to have beaten Heidemann only for the clock to be reset with one second remaining of sudden death.

Heidemann then managed to score a decisive hit for a 6-5 win. Shin staged a 70-minute protest, but nobody took any notice, and, with the meagre crowd having fallen into a deep sleep, Fencing as a sport was declared monumentally Dull and Void, and the competing participants sent home.

The medals that were to be awarded to the successful fencers were then smelted down so that they could be turned into something useful.

One spectator said:


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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