Written by IainB
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Monday, 30 July 2012

image for Britain applauded for filling stadiums with tiny people
Most of the very tiny people are supporting Ireland.

The British Olympic committee have been applauded by the World Equality Movement for giving over so many seats at Olympic venues to very tiny people.

"We're very pleased with how many seats have been given over to people with diminished stature," said Paulette Small, head of the Equality for the Tiny division of the World Equality Movement. "It's been a breath of fresh air to see that those of smaller than average height have been given such prestigious seats."

According to Small, some of the venues have seen as many as a third of all allocated seats allocated to the very small, with whole sections at the front of stadiums packed with the tiny.

"Erm," said Sebastian Coe, who has been tasked with discovering why so many seats are empty, despite the scrambling around for seats that have been reported in the press. "Yes. We're good aren't we?"

Although the seats are not empty, and instead contain people below the height of two centimetres, vendors at the venues are complaining that these people have not been buying food, drink or merchandise.

"We hope that the tiny people have not been bringing in their own food," said Coe. "Although, I'm sure one pack of M&Ms would suffice for all of them."

Merchandise vendors have less to complain about, according to Coe.

"If they've not stocked Olympic tee-shirts, emergency rain ponchos or beanie hats in appropriate sizes for the very tiny, then this is their own fault. There's a whole market there, completely untapped, and they have just not cashed in on it."

Some of the vendors are producing tiny tees for this untapped market, but are not hopeful that they can run enough off to cater for the vast market.

"It'll be touch and go," said one vendor. "I've got a thousand one centimetre GB flags coming in tomorrow. I hope they sell."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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