British Olympians were expected to have picked up at least one gold so far, with the Road Cycling team failing miserably to do so, and Rebecca Adlington also failing to earn a phone call from Cash 4UR Gold.
"It's been a little disappointing," said Sebastian Coe, who has now been put in charge of ensuring that this state of affairs continues no longer. "What we have is a silver and a bronze."
According to Coe, there is more to Gold Medals than simply winning events at the Olympics.
"There's the British spirit," said Coe. "You could say that there are fifty shades of gold."
The British Spirit has been defined as beating one's self up over failure, but not really complaining about, instead offering excuses of "taking part" and platitudes of "we did our best".
"There's still hope for the team," said Coe. "We might win a nice bright shiny shade of gold in rowing, sailing, indoor cycling, swimming, the odd track and field event and maybe even that dancing thing with a pommel horse. Plus, there's all the equestrian events, talking of horses."
Any of these bright shiny golds would go with the whitish gold won in the cycling and the duller gold won in the pool.
"Of course, there's easily been lots of invisible golds won in the events in which we took part and did our best," said Coe. "At least fifty. How many events have there been so far?"