Written by tennisman
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Saturday, 28 July 2012

image for Athletes to post on Facebook while they are competing
800m runners text their mates before hitting the home straight

In previous Olympic Games, it has always been the spectators who have come to watch (and photograph) the athletes and not the other way around. But while many London 2012 athletes were forced to stay in their rooms because the Opening Ceremony was past their bedtime, they were astonished to see that this usual behaviour had changed. It was their attending teammates using their mobile phones to take pictures of the fans as they entered the stadium and not the 80,000 weeping spectators taking pictures of them.

Realising that things had finally moved on, athlete representatives immediately called for Jack Rogg to be bought out of his coma as he sat next to the latest Bond Girl.

With the team captains threatening to reveal rumours that the IOC head has stashed away warehouses full of small brandy bottles and dry roasted peanuts from all the 5 Star Hotel mini bars he has raided since 1896, Rogg agreed to the full use of all devices and social media while athletes compete.

Immediately, Tom Daley has promised to tweet his 342 million female followers in China AS he completes his very intricate and difficult 4.5 twist forward dive. 'It's fine' said the Plymouth heart-throb, 'I've got at least a second before I hit the water. I'll easily be able to get a message off'.

Bradley Wiggins has admitted his relief at now being able to perform a full defrag of his laptop WHILE he gets up and down Box Hill nine times. 'On the Tour de France, I tried to sort my computer out while going up the Tourmalee with the thing under my yellow jersey but I kept chucking it away thinking it was a water bottle', he chortled.

And poster boy Usian Bolt has immediately seized the opportunity and called for a meeting with Facebook boss Mark Zuckberg DURING his 100m heat. The Jamaican sprint star is keen to negotiate a deal which will see his face on the timeline of all 900m subscribers to the site. Coffee will be served at the meeting as the athletes run the first 50 metres. Cake will follow as they cross the line. Bolt will relay the meeting to the stadium crowd using Skype and the Olympic Park's Travel Inn Wi Fi connection.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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