Written by Ossurworld
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Topics: Red Sox, Bad luck

Sunday, 8 July 2012

After the All-Star game, the Boston Red Sox begin to look for runs in their stockings.

Yes, the second half of the season begins on Friday 13th. If you were writing the movie script for a horror story, only calling up Freddy Kreuger could be more terrifying.

As it is, Dustin Pedroia has walked under a ladder and had it fall on his oft-prone digit. No thumb can be safe with Pedroia. He needs to consult Nostradamus about the future of his opposable thumb.

Indeed, the Mayan calendar is not auspicious for the second half of the Red Sox season. It appears the human sacrifice of Kevin Youkilis on the altar of the playoff spot may not be enough.

The Red Sox should not ask the Celtics for a lucky shamrock. They have already found their big four-leaf clover actually pruned by the stewed prune of Ray Allen.

That red robin that just flew through the window from Pawtucket may look like he has brought some energy from the minor league team, but those who know their augurs know that this is only one step away from having a hat placed on your bed.

Everyone knows that it is bad luck to leave by a different door you entered. Tell that to Bobby Valentine.

We keep wondering how many times this season Clay Bucholz got out of bed on the same side he fell into bed. If you want good luck, make sure you never change the way you get out of bed.

Daisuke Matsuzaka knows how unlucky the number "six" is in Japan, and it was proven when he became the sixth man of the starting rotation.

Sox fans know better than to count the number of cars in a funeral procession. It's like counting the number of cabs called for by Red Sox players leaving the park after a game.

We keep wondering if David Ortiz broke a mirror during the free-agency process.

A black cat has run away from the Red Sox more times than we can count.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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