Written by radiogagger
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Friday, 6 July 2012

image for Robin Van Persie to join Scottish Premier League
Robin Van Persie - He's a One Man Band

Robin Van Persie caused ripples this week by revealing on his personal website that he would not be signing an extension to his Arsenal contract, and now details are emerging as to his whereabouts next season.

RVP Stated that he is not happy with the direction things are going at Arsenal and it is not about money, but he wants to win trophies. Speculation immediately started that he will be sign for Manchester City as early as next week, but we can reveal exclusively today that Robin will be joining the SPL to replace Rangers.

Taf McTaffy, our Scottish correspondent, tells the full story. "Following the administration of Rangers, the remaining SPL clubs voted against the 'newco Rangers' being allowed straight back into the SPL. Newco Rangers have therefore applied to join the Scottish Football League".

Mc Taffy continued "The interesting thing is who will take the 12th spot in the SPL - and reports I've heard today is that Robin will come as a one man team! He scored around 37 goals in 48 games last season, around 40% of all Arsenal goals. In the less competitive SPL he should have more comfortable games, which he can win single handed, and score 100% of the goals. Its a canny plan for RVP, he won't need to share wages with 10 other players on the team that he will have to carry. Its a win-win situation for him - until of course, he lose a game - for the Celtic matches he may need a goalkeeper and defensive coach. He could also sign 'A Trialist' one of Scotland's most famous players.".

UPDATE - when asked to comment on the spoofs breaking story in this mornings early edition, Arsene Wenger replied "I did not see zee spoof"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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