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Thursday, 5 July 2012

image for Kop Horror As Liverpool Show Off Pink, Lemon And Magnolia 4th Strip
Eamonn Holmes Modelled Pink Shirts Before He Became Famous.

Fury from the Anfield faithful in the Red half of Merseyside, as Liverpool FC players paraded the club's new 4th kit at a photo shoot at the Adelphi Hotel in the city this lunchtime.

What the club described as 'a tasteful ensemble, with a pink shirt, Lemon shorts, and magnolia socks' has been lambasted by fans, who described the ensemble as 'nightmarish,' 'lamentable,' and 'an out and out disgrace,' amongst other things.

Very few of which were complimentary.

It is widely believed by those close to the club, that the new kit is the owner's declaration of intent to represent a stand against racism and homophobia, demonstrating to the world that Liverpool Football Club aren't afraid to showcase a sensitive side.

"I think the club is reacting to the popular misconception that over the years, they appear to have been associated with violence, thuggery, and snarling aggression, ably demonstrated back in the day by such Anfield stalwarts as Tommy Smith and Graeme Souness. But there is a softer, more caring side to the club, or as they now call it, 'The Outfit.'" said fashion designer, Jersey Pellegrino, who designed the kit personally. "I'm confident the fans will come to love it. They'll soon warm to a team who look like slices of Battenburg cake."

Publicity shots include one of Luis Suarez, Jamie Carragher, and Andy Carroll, holding a daisy, a buttercup, and a dandelion, respectively.

"Aaarrgh! I think I'm gonna puuuuuke, an dat! It reminds me of a dog's willy!" raged Kop legend Mickey McWhack, who apparently didn't take to the new kit, which will be used next time Liverpool secure a Champions League berth.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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