Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 3 July 2012

image for Lindsay Lohan Invites Tom Cruise To A Los Angeles Dodgers Game On His Birthday
Tom Cruise in a scene from his 1991, baseball-zombie movie, "Baseballs From Hell."

LOS ANGELES - Lindsay Lohan just celebrated her 26th birthday on July 2, and now on July 3, she wants to help the recently dumped Tom Cruise celebrate his 51st birthday.

Lohan realizes that Cruise is still reeling from the divorce bombshell that Katie Holmes dropped on him.

So she figured that she would invite him to the L.A. Dodgers Vs. the Cincinnati Reds ball game to hopefully help him forget about his tremendous depression for nine innings at least.

Lohan knows what being on a never-ending emotional roller coaster ride feels like.

And she just wants for Tom to know that even though Katie doesn't care about him anymore that there is one very sexy and extremely talented Hollywood starlet who does and who thinks that he hung the moon and three of the four planets (sic).

Lindsay informed Pia Confetti with The El Lay Informer that she plans on cheering him up with her old count every freckle on my body routine.

She texted Tom with the offer and disclosed that he sounded like he could be interested.

She smiled as she said that she then sent him four photos of her in her "Birthday" suit and that he texted her back immediately telling her that he would love to accompany her to the Dodgers - Reds game.

In News From Mexico. The Republic of Mexico says that the illegal alien situation is getting out of hand and that they are going to construct an electrically-charged fence on its southern border between Mexico and Guatemala.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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