Written by Ellis Ian Fields

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Thursday, 28 June 2012

image for Cristiano Ronaldo's Penalty Miss Hilarious Says Expert
That's how you do it, Cris.

A top football expert has branded Spain's progression to the final of Euro 2012 'hilarious'.

EIF News & Features sports editor, Thelonious Adidas, was watching the Portugal v Spain semi-final on TV at his home in West Wittering because we refused to stump up the cash for official UEFA accreditation in Poland and the Ukraine.

He reports: It was hilarious! Did you see? Oh my... stop it, it hurts.

It goes to penalties, so who's first up for Portugal? The best striker of the dead ball in the world, Portugal's star player and captain Cristiano Ronaldo? No. He lets someone else take the responsibility.

Then on penalty two or three Nani decides it's his turn and sends another bloke back when he's just about ready to have a go.

"Where's Ronaldo?" We're all asking. I'll tell you... the preening, posing, cocky little git is expecting to take the vital last one and lap up all the glory, sliding on his knees towards the Portuguese fans. Except Spain haven't missed one and his mates have - so he doesn't get to take one at all! By the time it's his turn, it's too late.

Oh, it's so funny! I love it. I hope the Germans and the Italians aren't so funny tonight, I don't think I can stand any more.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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