Written by Talking Tic-Tacs
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Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Ex West Ham 'reject', misfit, dud, flop, chancer, but decent penalty taker Alessandro Diamanti last night scored the winning spot-kick taking Italy through and knocking rightful winners England out of what is now a complete failure of a tournament.

Asked by English journalists after the game what he thought of scoring against a country that provided gainful employment and housing and air for him, he quickly and rather loudly responded, intermittently with laughter, like thus, "whatsa matter you ay, gotta no respect, ah shutupa ya face". Typical.

West Ham owner David Gold went on record TODAY saying he is considering suing Brescia for money still owed for Diamanti. Gold had forgotten all about this until he stepped up to take the winning penalty. If Croatia had beaten England however he admitted he would have also 'remembered' the unpaid monies related to Slaven Billic's time at Upton Park.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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