Written by El Presidente
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Monday, 25 June 2012

Five-time champion Venus Williams was sensationally and unceremoniously dumped from Wimbledon after a straight-sets first-round defeat by Elena Vesnina.

The 32-year-old American though is claiming that she is suffering from several previously unknown syndromes that affected her performance.

Previously Williams has been diagnosed with Sjogren's Syndrome, an illness that causes fatigue and joint pain.

The condition caused her to take a six-month break from the game after the 2011 US Open, during which time her world ranking slipped to 134.

However now she seems to be suffering from more syndromes.

Burger King Syndrome is an illness that causes the sufferer to gorge on cheeseburgers, fries and milkshakes it is an illness that causes fatigue and joint pain.

Bad Attitude Syndrome is a disease that affects prima donna athletes who mistakenly believe that they really do not have to try to hard against lesser opponents and try and conserve energy effort for better opponents later on in competitions.

I Made my Millions Syndrome is another awful affliction that affects sports stars who, despite possessing the talent to continue playing at the top level decide, now that they have a life of luxury and riches, that they really do not care about the sport they once excelled at and much prefer shopping for clothes, cars and partying with their hanger on friends.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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