Written by Ossurworld
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Monday, 25 June 2012

In April Manager Bobby Valentine of the Red Sox questioned the dedication and physical ability of Kevin Youkilis. On the day Youk is traded to the White Sox, Bobby V notes that Youk's dedication was legendary.

Participating in the longest goodbye in recent Red Sox history, Kevin Youkilis has been biding his time while waiting for the last train to Chicago.

The final game of the legendary Youk featured a goodbye that turned into a four hankie tear jerker. Without knowing he was traded (according to everyone), Youk hit a suspicious triple, botched by outfielders.

For the first time in our collective memory, a pinch-runner for YOuk (Nick Punto) hugged him in mid-infield. This was followed by a hat removal, and the Sox favorite blowing kisses to the standing ovation.

His long-time teammates Dustin Pedroia and David Ortiz came out of the dugout to hug him. Adrian Gonzalez grabbed him before he went into the clubhouse tunnel.

Called out by Valentine, he took a final bow before the adoring throngs. It was a curtain call out of the Hollywood cliché playbook.

We can certainly understand why Valentine and Gonzalez led the cheers. At long last, a headache was clearing up. Will Middlebrooks also may have been cheering loudly because the third base job was now his alone.

We did not see Josh Beckett offering platitudes or even bric-a-bracs. This leads to the conspiracy theorists to suggest Youk blew the whistle last season on his pitching staff's festivals in the clubhouse.

Red Sox Star Kevin Youkilis debunked rumors of his death a few days earlier. The news flash apparently surprised many media members gathered at Kevin Youkilis's locker after the game on Saturday.

He told them, "I'm not dead."

Shocked reporters asked if he were sure about that. At the least, news people had expected to ask Manager Bobby Valentine where the body would be viewed.

With his departure for Chicago, Youk has debunked only the suggestion he was joining the cast list for HBO's True Blood and would be in the lineup of vampires on that show.

The next big story in Boston will be the resurrection of Kevin Youkilis in another color of Sox-Chicago being one of the best places this season for returning to baseball life.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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